Crossing Cultures

Selah was so excited about our steak family dinner for Valentine's Day this evening. As we sat at the table and enjoyed dinner, she started a surprising conversation.

Selah: "Mommy and Papa, you are the best daddy and mommy ever! I love you sooo much and I am so happy that you are here! (Big smiles.) I'm going to pray that you will never ever fall away from each other." (I blink twice. Did I hear her right?) "I want you (points to me) to always be Papa's wife, and I want you (points to Kenneth) to always be Mommy's husband. I don't want you to fall away... so I'm going to pray for you, OK? (Deep breath.) Father, please keep Mommy and Daddy safe and make sure that Mommy is always Papa's wife and that Papa is always Mommy's husband and that they never fall away from each other. In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen!" (Big smiles.)

Me: "Wow, Selah...thank you so much for praying for us." I look at Kenneth and back at Selah, confused and surprised. "Selah, why do you think that Papa and I might fall away from each other?"

Selah: "I just don't want you to."

Me: "But what makes you think about that? Do husbands and wives fall away from each other?"

Selah: "Yeah."

Kenneth: "How do you know that?"

Selah: "In my dream. I saw it. And God speaks to me and tells me the words to say. So I prayed for you." (Big smile.)

Selah turned four years old two weeks ago.

I can't keep up! I've taken some time off of my personal blog (as you can see, I haven't posted in FOREVER). Personal stories abound and I laugh often, posting some of the funny comments from my girls on Facebook, but storing away most of it in my heart. My time to process through all that is happening in life has been recently hijacked by the Holiday burglar and the Globalife Journeys train.

In case you'd like to read where I'm currently blogging, then check out the Globalife Journeys blog. It's certainly all about some stuff that is near and dear to my heart. But all the personal thoughts and stories about my girls saying profound and ridiculous things, about me forgetting where I put ANYTHING because I'm pregnant, and all that God is doing inside of me will just have to wait until I can sit down with a latte and exhale.

It's been a while since I've posted. It's been even longer since I've journaled. Weeks go by and I can hardly believe that another weekend has come. My days are spent in blocks of time filled with activities that go from one block to the next until it's late at night and my eyes are locked on my bed.

I'm loving this time with the girls... spending time with the girls as they each learn different levels of preschool skills. I spend as much time as I can each week building Globalife Journeys, our non-profit humanitarian aid and missions organization. Then there's also worship to prepare for two services, play dates to organize, library and grocery shopping trips, and let's not forget the ever present cooking, cleaning, and laundry.

I love where we are in life. I love the direction we're heading in. Like my mom used to say, I do wish there were more hours in the day... but the Lord knows that I would just fill it with more stuff. Last weekend, K and I had some time to ourselves on an overnight date. It was fantastic. We both need that time to reconnect every once in while.

I thank God that His mercy is new every morning and He is with me when I rise. He reminds me every day to breathe deeply and not let my desire to accomplish more override His desire for me to simply live loved and love others.

"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience, and we soon shall see them in their proper figures." ~Joseph Addison

There's something in me that says that paying all your bills on time and not going into foreclosure and keeping your "life" in order is all about integrity and responsibility.

I mean, people who find themselves in a financial bind, who have "poorly run" finances or bad credit, or who are surviving on unemployment or govt. aid must surely have made some poor, lazy choices in their life. Right? Because... that would definitely not be me. I am a person of integrity and responsibility.

Well, maybe it's not so much about those two traits as it is about arrogance... the arrogance that I think hardship is beneath me because I control my "life" so well.

My arrogance... maybe that's what all this is about...all this stuff we find ourselves in the midst of. And if so, then forgive me Lord. And thank you. Thank you for the lesson... for taking the time to cut it out of me. Your grace is so humbling.

Just in case you were wondering where she went, she's living in my house. And she looks suspiciously like me. In fact, we're practically the same person.

And just in case you felt free to rip her a new one yet again for what you believe she did, I just wanted to stand up for a moment and share something. You might as well throw me in the fire, too.

You see, if you believe that she committed murder and got away with it, as I do... then she's not so different from me. Because I am also guilty of lying to cover up for myself. I'm guilty of manipulating and undermining in order to get my way. I'm guilty of being selfish and wanting my own way. I'm guilty of silencing others by refusing to listen them. I'm guilty of cutting others with words. I'm guilty of putting myself before family.

But the similarities don't end there. While the death sentence was swirling around over our heads, and an obvious sentence of judgement was expected... we were both handed a supernatural portion of grace.

Regardless of whether you think it was a maddening lack of condemning evidence, or a gift of grace from an ever-loving Father, I know what I believe. Because I received the same gift. So, the next time you see someone go off on a tirade about her, think not about the depth of her sins... think instead about a God who's grace can even reach into the clutches of death and rescue someone.

After I finished the dishes last night, gave the girls a bath, and put them down to sleep...I stole outside to ride my bike in the last few minutes of daylight.

Kenneth had found one of his favorite shows on TV and Bentley was happy to watch it from behind his eyelids. It was a funny show, but I decided to go outside and get a few minutes of fresh air.

That "fresh air" turned into a rush of hot swampy-flavored air as I pressed my gears lower so I could push faster through the clouds of mosquitoes. They slapped me on the skin--or perhaps I should say, I bulldozed through them--as I chose to make myself too fast of a moving target to get bitten.

It worked. I came back 20 minutes later without a bite, winded, and shaky on my legs, but totally refreshed. The smile on my face made me think I should do that more often.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
~Marianne Williamson