I saw this couple once discussing the best way to do dishes. Considering we all grow up in different homes and with different eccentricities, no one realizes that someone else might do it differently until you're face to face with this dilemma. They had determined they would share the responsibility...he responsible for one day, she for the next. There they were, face to face with each other... he with eyebrows knit, and she with one hand on hip.... each realizing that the other didn't have a clue how to do dishes properly.
She: "Dishes are supposed to be washed directly after dinner, Babe. That way they don't sit around and smell up the house... and the kitchen's clean in the morning for starting a new day."
She spoke as though it was a determined law written somewhere in the Bible.
He: "Dishes don't dictate to me when they get done. I'll do them when I'm ready. I need to rest now... I'll do them in the morning when I'm fresh and have energy."
He spoke as though discussing dishes had never occured to him before. They both looked away for a moment as each tried to comprehend the ridiculous statement the other had made.
She: "But mornings are for coffee and our personal quiet time. It shouldn't be spent washing dishes. If you just hop up right after dinner, they'll be done and over with."
He: "And I might do that... but if I don't want to, it's OK to leave them overnight. I can make time in the morning for everything."
She stared at the dishes in the sink. He looked at the couch.
He: "Besides, once you wash the dishes, you leave them on a towel to dry on the counter. How tacky is that? Either way, they're still sitting out. Once I'm ready to do dishes, I wash them AND put them away."
She: "Why should I spend time drying when the air does it for me? I can put them away later."
Both realized at this point that 28 years of indoctrination would not be removed quickly. She put her hands on the counter, he rested his elbows on the bar. Each pondered the rigorous dish-training they had experienced as a child. They each realized that--though the process of dish washing is of VITAL importance in the house... the determination to maintain unity in marriage is a fraction more important. Both sighed their resignation and agreed to compromise out of love for one another.
He would do it his way. And she would do it hers.
"Truth springs from argument amongst friends." ~David Hume