I taught about worship yesterday at church. It's amazing how good you feel about a message before you give it and how deflated you feel about it afterward. Did I deliver well? Was it received well? I find my inner monologue is working overtime, regurgitating things I said to make sure they were exactly the way I wanted to say them. And then it will change them to say it the way I wished I'd said it, confusing my memory on how I actually said it. Foolishness.
I tend to do that a lot... second guess myself. I've got to shake that. I know that second guessing myself indicates that I think I'm in charge. When God gives me something to say, I must say it without reserve and without apology. And without second guessing or over analyzing. And I can only grab a hold of that boldness by establishing who's in charge. I love how the Old Testament prophets demonstrated this. Like Elijah, when he went to give his coat to Elisha, transferring his prophet's anointing to Elisha. He did what he was told to do and then he walked off. He didn't care how it was received or how he delivered it. He just did it 'cause he was told to. Elisha came running after him, professing agreement with what he had done and explaining why he would be delayed in taking it into action. Elijah basically said, "I don't care what you do."He had done what he was told to do. The rest was up to God.