Thursday, June 4, 2009

Emotions: From Tiger To Eeyore

In order to know the "why", read this post first.

It's strange how convoluted the emotions are.

We've been here since the beginning. We've been through (what I will lovingly call) a church split and mass exodus. We've been through seasons of victory, joy and triumph. We've been through "the valley of death" and back again. We've seen numbers grow and diminish and grow again. We've been frustrated, excited, tired, driven, exuberant, and resilient--just like nearly all on the team.

But strangely, last week, when we found out The Well was going to be closing this past Sunday, we were really okay with it. My first response was a feeling of completion and acceptance. I'm thrilled for the training and preparation that we all have received through this season. And I began to be really excited for the next season that God is about to put in out hands. I know it's going to be incredible.

Then the following morning came. And you would have called me Eeyore if you'd have seen me.

I couldn't cry enough that day. And the next day. Except when I wasn't crying because I was excited for what God was doing. And then I'd cry all over again. Then The Well's final Sunday came--and while it was one of the most amazing, fun, life-filled services I've been a part of... I cried again. Being pregnant doesn't help, but I certainly can't blame that for my bi-polar emotions.

I wept because I was sad. So incredibly sad to see a season go that has irreversibly changed and improved my life, my marriage, my walk with God, my understanding of my calling, and my friendships. I was sad because I LOVE this church, this body of people, this vision, this community of faith and the benefit that we brought to everyone around us. And I was sad because I've given so much of myself to something for over three and a half years now.

But my poured out emotions continue to be tempered by some unchanging truths.
  • We all walk away from the church with so much more than when we came.
  • The change in our lives due to walking this journey can not be lost or given away.

  • Relationships are not confined by a structure of faith, but simply cultivated by communication.

  • God's calling on my life (that of leading worship, among others) has been confirmed in me and has never been more clear.

  • God's faithfulness, endless love, and confident guidance in my life has been proven yet again and has never been more real.

  • My expectation of His plans for my(our) life(lives) cannot begin to conceive just how incredible they really are.

We don't know what His plans are for us right now, so while we wait to hear, we are resting. It's a good, exciting, adventuresome place to be.

Thanks so much for all your love and support for us through this season at The Well. :)

9 comments:

Thea said...

Hey girl...it's encouraging to read your process - your vulnerability here is ....quite vulnerable :) How's that for descriptive? haha.

We are praying for all of you...I know in my heart and feel confident to say to you that the best is yet to come.

Love!

Hope R. Clark said...

Thanks girl! I appreciate your support. :) And I agree... the best is yet to come. :)

Stacey said...

Hope...I completely understand what it feels like to have something come to an end...and to feel both happy and sad about it at the same time. I am praying. Resting in God's peace is a good place to be. :o)

Hope R. Clark said...

Thanks for your encouragement Stacey!

Anonymous said...

Hope I've been through this before, I know your pain. But, later you will see the seeds grow into harvest from all the people that were transplanted from The Well to new areas. Love you all! Gina

Hope R. Clark said...

Ah, thanks Gina. I believe you are completely right! :)

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