Tuesday, November 17, 2009

How Things Are Today

I'm not one of those moms that goes goo-goo ga-ga over babies. I don't fall in love with every child I meet and I'm not prone to holding babies for hours on end just because they feel cuddly.

Loving your own child is different, but I still remember the first month or so with Selah, our first daughter. It was a challenge for me to like her. Just being honest. Oh sure, I loved her, went without sleep for her, cared for her, and would die for her... but I wasn't always happy doing it. Now, I think she's awesome.

I've been going through the same thing with Moriah. She's seven weeks now, and so I'm finally getting to the place where I can see her as a person, and not the impersonal, demanding, eating, pooping, crying machine that she seemed to be.

I've given myself grace to get through this season. I don't always enjoy it as I know I should. But it does draw me closer to God. It helps me realize how much more of His unconditional love and patience I want in my heart so that I can give more of it to my daughters.

3 comments:

ST said...

Wow. What a picture of God you just painted! Think about how demanding and whiney and oh so underserving WE are sometimes and yet He lovingly takes care of us, cleans our "poop" and endures the endless whining. Then at some point, we grow up enough to love Him back, albeit only a fraction of what He deserves, and He can finally get a word in edgewise to let us know that He thinks we are awesome!

Betcha didn't think you were preaching when you posted this!

Valerie said...

It's funny because I had never been around babies so I wasn't a gaga person either. When I gave birth something changed in me and I am overwhelmed with love for Amariah and it happened immediately. God has give me so much grace though and He has made me a better person because of her.

Hope R. Clark said...

Wow... you two ladies humble and inspire me. :)