Kenneth will be home from Nigeria soon. I spoke with him the other day and he said he didn't know what to say. He's seen and experienced so much, that his life is forever changed... he just hasn't processed it enough to be able to verbalize it yet. I was so thrilled for him that I started crying on the phone... and I don't even know details yet.
It's been a long week... a good week... a pensive week. I miss my husband but have made an effort to enjoy the little things. Like not always cooking dinner. Having more foot space in bed. Only watching the style network and the history channel. I've spent extra time playing with the girls. I've worked out nearly every day, spent time with God and friends, and prepared for worship.
But the biggest thing I've wrestled with this week (perhaps I should say this season) is feeling useless. My heart aches to go to the nations that are without Him. The civil unrest in Nigeria between the Christians and Muslims. Women and children burned to death... families killed with machetes. The slave trade in Cambodia... girls age five sold into prostitution. In Haiti, the hopelessness of trying to survive in rubble. It all makes me feel a bit useless sitting at home wiping up baby poop.
But I know this is the role God has me in now. And it's such an important role! I know that... I don't belittle it... maybe I just wish there were two of me so I could do both.