Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Moving Back Into Grace

I would like to say that I sit down for hours at the keys by myself and worship God. But I don't. I would like to spend extended time working on transitions and preparing for Sunday, but most of the time I can't. I would like to write more, practice more, play more, pray more, read more, sit more, think more, and just "be" more. But it just doesn't happen.

Yesterday I sat down in the middle of the living room floor with my Bible and told the girls that I was going to read to them. Moriah was fussy and Selah wanted to play, but I needed some Bible time. I usually read for a few minutes by myself at some point during the day, but I just couldn't wait anymore. I felt starved and about ready to sink into a mommy meltdown.

I read Psalm 127. "...Children are a gift of the Lord...." Then, for some reason, moved backwards to Psalm 126. "Sow in tears...reap with joyful shouting." I imagine that they were absently listening. Moriah found my flip flop and began her inspection. Selah began trying to ride her tricycle over Moriah's toys without falling off. Then I read Psalm 125. "Trust in the Lord and abide forever." I began to breath easier and let the tension from the morning go. Then Psalm 124. "God is on our side." They continued to play while I read. And my thoughts turned from frustration to God's amazing love.

By the time I got to Psalm 121, I started crying. I didn't realize how much weight had been on my shoulders until it was taken away. He truly is my keeper. And when I think I can't handle anymore, He keeps me from slipping and He helps me. And He never leaves and never falls asleep on the job. How overwhelming is His love!

Selah and Moriah were oblivious of my tears--they were each wrapped up in their own investigations of how gravity works and just how much of a jingly baby toy you can get into your mouth. But those few minutes on the living room floor changed my day.

I hope you have a few minutes like that sometime today. And don't be afraid to read the chapters backwards. Sometimes you just have to back up to get a different perspective.


Arissa said...

Recently Heidi said to me, "God gives moms so much grace!" And it's true, I keep seeing it over and over. When I don't see it I have to ask for it.

Stacey said...

Hope...thank you for your words of encouragement. They are very true(even for those of us that don't have kids at home.)

Hope R. Clark said...

Grace... it is true. He gives it. Sometimes I just forget to ask for it.

You're so welcome. :)